We as humans are complicated creatures. Many of us are not able to move forward in our careers, relationships and life’s because we are dragged down with guilt. The truth is being that we are human beings and not perfect beings, we have all made mistakes. Some of our mistakes were intentional and some of our mistakes are just a consequence of us doing what we thought was right at the time. Maybe we sometimes feel guilty for something that happened that we had no control over. We probably all have one major moment in our lives that we cringe when we think about how we behaved. Unless you are a sociopath you will feel guilty for what you have done at least once. Carrying guilt is like walking around with a 200 pound backpack all the time. You feel dragged down and are always unable to truly enjoy the present moment and actually move on in your life. Maybe we sometimes feel guilty for something that happened that we had no control over.
Guilt is not a bad thing. It is actually something that helps to guide our actions. Guilt might make us do something different the next time we are confronted with the same situation, or it might take us many times of being stupid to finally get it. Hopefully you do learn from something.The truth is as long as you are trying to survive and succeed in this world, you will make mistakes. That is what free will is about, right? Since you realize you feel guilt about something in your life, you must now learn to move on if you want to be able to create joy and success in your life.
Think about one of the major incidents in your life that you did something that you feel extremely guilty about. I am not talking about a minor thing, I am talking about a giant boo-boo. It must be something that you think about sometimes before you go to sleep. It is something that creeps into your brain when you are at work or doing a leisure activity. Let’s use an example of: “You felt like you were not there as a parent as much as you thought you should have been.” Most parents feel some kind of guilt for something that they did not do right. Your parents feel guilt for something that happened to you and their parents have guilt for something they did. Being a parent is a learning process in which unfortunately does not come with an instructional manual, so mistakes will be made. This one example of a common guilt problem, you have your own.
I have an exercise for you to try if the guilt of your past is so strong that it paralyzes you.
1.If the person that you did something to is still living, write them a letter. Sincerely apologizing for what you have done. Don’t make excuses for your actions. Don’t say they had fault to. You apologize for your part in the actions. Let your sincerity come out. ( It is hard to do. That is why so many people hold on to so much guilt and have to spend years paying a psychologist or counselor to hear them out. They are not speaking to the right person. They need to speak to the person they have the guilt about.)
2.If the person that you did something to, is not living anymore. Then write a letter apologizing for what you did. Read it aloud and then rip it to shreds.
3.Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I forgive you for ****” (This may seem dumb but has what you tried worked yet?)
4.Realize that you are where you are. The past is gone. You can make it right in the future by helping someone else.
5.Go make a positive difference in somebody else’s life in order to make up for your error.
A great example of someone trying to transform his guilt is the movie “Seven Pounds” in which the character played by Will Smith tries to make right a major tragedy that he caused. He finds a way to positively affect many people’s lives in order to attempt to make up for his stupid judgment. This is probably the most powerful way to get rid of guilt. Even if you are not directly in contact with the person that you may have caused harm to, you are making a positive out of negative which leaves some room in your heart to feel good.
You have the power to shed the heavy backpack and get back in the race. Your power is in the present not in the past. You have the ability to right a wrong and you have the ability to forgive yourself even if others don’t. Confront it head on and then move past it. You deserve this for your life and the people around you deserve it as well. Go do this and live happy and free.
Tags: Goals, guilt, let go, present moments, success
