Why do so many people not really go after what they want in their life? The answer is: FEAR. Fear will make you its bitch if you let it. It will pimp smack you into oblivion. Fear will always keep you wondering, what if? We have all heard Shakespeare; “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” To state that simply is to say, if you don’t do what you are afraid of doing then you will relive over and over again in your mind with torturous regret. You will beat yourself up, because you never took the steps toward doing what you know in your gut will make you happy. So many people take the safe route in their lives, so as to avoid any unpleasant experiences. Ironically the truly unpleasant experience is living your life with regret. Some examples of how this shows up in life are:
- You did not apply to college for fear of rejection.
- You did not ask the girl out because she might not like you.
- You took the safe career path in Accounting instead of following your passion for music.
- You did not ask that millionaire for advice because he might laugh at you.
- You did not showcase your talent at the talent show because they might make fun of you.
- You did not divorce that man who makes you miserable for fear of the unknown.
- You did not start that business because you were afraid it would fail.
This fear shows up in so many areas of our life, and yet we often don’t even realize that we are experiencing fear. We come up with an idea for that business or that career, and we talk ourselves out of it. We don’t realize it is fear at the time, we think we are being practical or analytical. That is B.S. The truth is, it is fear in our brain telling us that we will fail. Why would our brain, who is suppose to be our bodies partner do this to us? Your brain is actually trying to protect you. If you see a bear on a trail that you think might eat you, your body goes into protection or flight mode. You will run faster than you ever thought possible if you were actually chased by that bear. (Unfortunately not fast enough to out run a bear.) The brain does the same thing to you in a situation that you might think is scary. Your brain wants to protect you, but you have to learn when this is happening and understand it. If there is something you really want, and you still haven’t gone after it, then you have to face your fear and do the task that you know in your heart you should do.
Fear is F.E.A.R. False experiences appearing real. You visualize yourself failing at the thing you want to do, so you retreat. The desire to fulfill that part of your heart and soul will always be there, but each time you think about it as a reality you will find a way to see yourself failing. When you see yourself failing, pain will set in and you will instinctively work very hard to avoid pain.
What are some reasons people are fearful? A. You failed before. B. Someone else failed at something and told you about it. C. You read or heard some statistic about how the likelihood of accomplishing what you want is nearly impossible. D. Someone told you that you were not capable of doing it and you believed them. E. You just can’t visualize a successful outcome. There are many reasons you fear these things. Some of these reasons go back to your childhood and spawn from something in your adulthood. When I was 19, I put together the resources, planning, my 12 hours a day of labor, and people in order to build two houses. I was not fearful because I had no other experience to tell me I could not do it. I worked everyday very hard at it, and eventually watched this house come together as I once had visualized it. When the second house was completed there were some delays in the final stage of it and I ran out of funds and the house was foreclosed on because it did not sell right away. I considered that to be a big failure. I did not try to do any house projects after this and most of the subsequent business ideas I had were never carried out, because I had experienced a considerably big failure. From then on, I foresaw my business ideas not going as planned, like my big house project. It took me seven years to actually venture on my own again and trust that things would be different.
For whatever reason you are not chasing your dream, you have to ask yourself why? I mean really ask why? Not because of the kids, the economy, or what your mother told you when you were four years old. It is because you are telling yourself you can’t do it. You are shaking in your boots at the thought of trying it. The fear might help you to analyze something you had not thought of at first, but once you realize what is happening you have to move past it. The way to move past the fear is to visualize and feel the feeling you will get when you actually do accomplish what you dreamed of. Think about the feeling you will have because you are actually living your dream instead of dreaming your life away. Then take steps toward the thing you fear. Praise yourself for little victories in your path. You will soon realize that what you feared is maybe not so difficult and very rewarding.
Another way to move toward your dream and past the fear is to realize that working toward your goals will not make you worse of, even if you don’t get it exactly the way you want it. If you are afraid of asking that girl out because she might reject you, you will have not lost anything by trying. The only person that can make you feel stupid is you. Even if the girl says no, you are still no better or worse than before you asked. The same is true in that business, career change, film project, book, or travel that you wanted to do. Life is short to not live the way you think you ought to live. This does not mean if you have kids that you will abandon them at a Wal-Mart tomorrow and go chase your dream of being a Vegas Showgirl. You don’t have to quit your job tomorrow in order to start your business and then starve for months. Don’t be stupid! Be smart; think about a realistic and harmonious path to your goals. You have to understand where you are now and figure out how to get where you want to get.
Realize that you deserve what you want. That anyone the fear you feel is self imposed and not always real, and that you can visualize and work toward what you really want. Think about this amazing time in history. If Barack Obama had let the fear rule him in his choice to run for President, then he would not be the one to be sworn in on the 20th of January, 2009. If he feared that he would not make it because of his age, color, beliefs, funny name or lack of experience; history would be extremely different at this time. Ask yourself what history you can make for yourself in your lifetime and make fear your bitch.
Tags: bitch, coward, fear, imagination, pimpsmack, regret, roadblocks, success
